Families are one of the most important things in our lives. We can have good and bad experiences as a family. Family takes work. It is not something that is just going to be a float on a calm river but rather on a white water rapid. There are trials and tribulations that we will face. How we respond to those determines how the family will work out. Sometimes the family does not work out, and they end up in divorce.
What are some statistics about divorce?
After two years, about 70 percent of divorcees regret getting divorced. Seventy percent of men are remarried within two years of getting divorced. Another 70 percent of people who said their marriage was "very unsatisfactory" would report that it changed to "satisfactory" or even "very satisfactory" if they stayed in their marriage for five years.
So does this mean staying together will be better?
It depends on the situation. If you can work things out and focus on things that can improve your relationship, you can find new ways to work together. One of the most common reasons students at Brigham Young University Idaho get divorced is because "It was not fun like we thought it would be." Once again, marriage is not easy.
What about when people commit infidelity?
Infidelity, unlike common thought, is not the most common reason for people to get divorced. However, it is hurtful. Most people say they would get a divorce if their partner committed infidelity. Marriage and families are intricate things that take a lot of work and can fall apart faster than it takes to put them back together. However, 63 percent of people actually save their marriage after those situations. Of those 63 percent of marriages, 50 percent say they created a better marriage after.
My aunt is in a situation that has a lot of complicated details to it. They have been together for a long time, and my uncle claims he has not loved her for years. They tried to work things out, but he started keeping secrets. He moved about 800 miles away for work and would come home on the weekends to be with his family. This happened for years, and then he started coming home less and less. He has made his own bank account and made a huge deal about things when my aunt asks about things. He has slipped up in what he has said before and let on the fact that he is dating other people. This would not be a big deal except for the fact that they are still married, and he is not telling the people he is dating that fact. They are working on getting a divorce. I do not know most of the answers to divorce and marriage, but I do know that it takes effort and time to work out.
Final thoughts
This semester has been insightful and has led me to think about families differently. I have developed new skills and intend to apply them to my family. If I were to suggest things for everyone to work on, it would be communication and meeting the needs of children in your life. I have seen my communication skills improve as I have worked on using "I feel" statements. I have also been able to help people understand what I am actually trying to say. As for meeting the needs of children, the reason I say that is because I have personally seen what can happen to kids mentally and physically when they are not met or when they are abused.
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