Dating VS. Hanging out

What is dating?

    Dating is a concept that has been dying out for the past couple of years. For something to be considered a date, it has to have three main points. The first main point is that it is planned. When a date is planned, there are specific things that you are going to do. Planning means there is an effort put into the date. It does not have to be a lot to be planned, but even just the idea of going on a picnic works. The second point is to be paired off. A group date works with this. You do not have to be just one on one. As long as you have someone specific, you are there with; it is considered paired off. The third part that makes a date is that it is paid for. Some people may think that dates can be way too expensive and that you have to spend a lot of money. 

    All three of these make up dating, but they leave a lot of room for each person to use their own ideas. These can be as simple as a  walk with ice cream to a dinner date at a five-star restaurant. The best dates I have been on are simple ones. The best one was when I went to a park and had a picnic on a double date, and we just played a bunch of games. The simple dates have been the most memorable for me. It is also hard for a college student to feel like you should go on dates because they can be hard to plan and are expensive. However, there is nothing that says that dates have to be crazy and exotic. 

What has "hanging out" done to dating?

    Hanging out is what has been causing the decline of dating. Today more and more people are just hanging out instead of splitting off and going on dates. When you hang out with a big group of people, you tend to have a different personality than usual. I have seen this in my life. You have to fight for the attention of others. This fight for attention is even more challenging when there is someone you are interested in the group.

    There is a lot that happens when you just hang out with people, and it has negative effects on dating. Another one of these adverse effects is that when people are in a relationship, they tend to just hang out. Just hanging out for a date does not help you develop good relationships. It also does not allow you to get to know each other in different ways. One example is if you watch a whole bunch of movies for a date, you really only get to know what movies they like. However, if you go on a hike, rock climbing, bowling, or other activities, you learn about how they act in different situations. There are many good aspects to spending time together, but it is important to be aware of what you are doing and learning in that situation. 

Relationship Attachment Model

    The relationship attachment model or RAM is something that can help explain important parts of a relationship. There are five different parts to this model, and they all work together to develop a good relationship. The five aspects are: know, trust, rely, commit, and touch. There are different levels for each of these factors, and they should not be put out of order in a relationship. Knowing each other should be the highest and slowly works down to touch. It is essential to do it this way because if you rely on someone more than you know or trust them, that could end badly. When these levels are askew, it is easy to be blinded by those factors that are high. 

All in all, dating should be something that is planned, paired off, and paid for. Dating is essential to getting to know each other and building up those levels in a healthy way.