Saturday, March 11, 2023

Communication is key


What makes up communication?

First of all, a person will have a thought or feeling they want to share with another and will "code" it into words, tone, and non-verbal cues to present the idea. They do that through a type of media. There are many different media types that people communicate through. However, the main ones are speaking or texting another person. After they do this, the person that is receiving the message has to decode it. Once they have decoded it, they have their own thoughts and feeling about what the other said. 

As people are communicating, there are thing things they focus on, words, tone, and non-verbal cues. The main thing that the other focuses on is non-verbal cues. At 51 percent, these cues make up most of how someone takes what is being said. This is important to remember because if you look bored as you are talking to someone, they will remember that rather than the words you spoke. The tone makes up another 35 percent of what people get out of what you are saying. In instances where people cannot see the non-verbal cues you have, they often rely on tone more than words. As for words, they only make up 14 percent of what people are communicating. The words we use are still important, but they do not matter the most. For example, someone who sassily says "I am sorry"is very different than someone who actually means it. The words are the same, but the tone and the non-verbal cues change the meaning completely.  


Why is communication so important?

"By delivering messages clearly, there is no room for misunderstanding or alteration of messages, which decreases the potential for conflict." (a. Stevenson University) If we are able to communicate with those around us, we will be able to find more joy in life and will be able to figure out problems with less conflict. However, if you are not good at communicating, you will not be able to get your point across, and it can lead to more problems from someone misunderstanding. There are many times in a day when someone does not fully communicate what they are trying to say. Even today, I can see a couple of examples. When I was talking to my sister, I was not able to fully express what I wanted her to do, and then she did something completely wrong and started to get frustrated when I asked her to do it better. I could have explained in more detail to her and asked her if she understood before she went to work on the project. 


How do you work on your communication?

There are five things that people can do to work on their communication skills. 

First, there is the disarming technique. This just means you have to find the kernel truth in what they said and state it back to them. This can be hard when someone is saying horrible things to you, but it is a good way to show empathy. 

Second, there is empathy. There are two types of empathy thought and feeling. Feeling empathy is more meaning full because you are able to share emotions. In contrast, thought empathy is just you repeating what they said to you. 

The third is inquiry. It is important to ask questions to make sure you are understanding what they are trying to get across. 

Fourth is "I feel" statements. These are helpful as you are trying to respond to what someone said or did. These often look like "When situation/event I feel or felt emotion because thought. I would like wish.

Lastly is stroking. This is when you show authenticity, admiration, and appreciation for the other. 

It is important to work on all of these because they work together and can help a change happen. 


a. https://www.stevenson.edu/online/about-us/news/importance-effective-communication/#:~:text=When%20communication%20is%20effective%2C%20it,decreases%20the%20potential%20for%20conflict 

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